I met her a month before I met Paolo. I changed when Paolo left me. Until I met James and went back to being happy and in love. Everything fell apart again. And it’s getting worse. I’m getting worse. I’m falling apart.
I hope someday you will find an amazing girl. Someone who will be so proud to have you to call her own. Someone who will make you feel like you’re her everything and make you want to spend every moment of your time with her. I want you to fall so in love with her that falling out of love will be the last thing you could ever think about.
I hope she’s the kind of girl that would stay up all night just thinking about your wonderful smile, and when she falls asleep you’re the one she dreams of. I hope you’ll be the first thing that comes to her mind when she wakes up in the morning and the last thing that crosses her mind just before she closes her eyes at night. I hope she’ll accept you for who you are. And if by any chance she changes you in any way, I hope it’s for the better. I hope she’s the kind of girl who will put effort in everything she does for you, be it little or something grand, because a guy like you deserves only the best things in life. I hope she’s the kind of girl who’ll know your worth and be appreciative of what she has. I hope she knows that you’re a great person, that you’re funny and wonderful in so many ways.
I wish you two will have a wonderful relationship together, the type where you can both be silly, have small fights with, then kiss, make up and fall madly in love again. I want you two to have what we didn’t because I want you to be happy. That’s the only thing I’ve always wished for, even if your happiness no longer includes me. Please don’t forget that I will always keep you in my heart. I love you — still.
I have been spending an hour thinking how to start this letter, and I still don’t know. I just felt like I should just start writing. I deleted 5 sentences again, because I don’t even know how to continue.
I know we broke up, and this is not a pathetically-trying-to-get-back-together letter. Trust me, I’ve written plenty of those. I just never send them to you, because it’s useless. It will only hurt me more. I won’t say why we should get back together. I just want you to know that I care about you, and always have. I want you to know that I never doubted our love, and that I thought we were great together. I don’t regret our love. Maybe it didn’t work out. I am still coping with this. I know that I will get through it some day, but not look back with regret. I guess all I wanted you to know, is that you were a part of me, and you will always be. I guess all I wanted to do, is thank you for that.
It’s hard, talking to you with the feelings I have right now, but you don’t have to respond. I just wanted to let you know these things. I’ll be fine.
And I seriously want to kill myself right now. I’m so not worth it. I’m not worthy of his love. I will never be good enough for anybody.
I am a boy.
I am a girl.
I am shorter than 5’4.
I think I’m ugly.
I have many scars.
I tan easily.
I wish my hair was a different color.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have a tattoo.
I want a tattoo.
I am self-consious about my body.
I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
I have more than 2 piercings.
I have a piercing in a place other than my ears.
I have freckles.
I’ve sworn at my parents.
I’ve run away from home.
I’ve been kicked out of the house.
I have a sibling less than one year old.
I want to have kids someday.
I’m in school.
I’ve lost a child.
I have a job.
I’ve fallen asleep at school.
I almost always do my homework.
I’ve missed a week or more of school.
I’ve stolen something from my job.
I’ve slipped out a “LOL” in a spoken conversation.
Disney movies still make me cry.
I’ve peed from laughing.
I’ve snorted while laughing.
I’ve cried from laughing so hard.
I’ve glued my hand to something.
I’ve had my pants rip in public.
I was born with a disease.
I’ve broken a bone.
I’ve gotten stiches.
I’ve had my tonsils removed.
I’ve sat in a doctor’s emergency room with a friend.
I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
I had a serious surgery.
I’ve had chicken pox.
I’ve had measles.
I’ve been on a plane.
I’ve been to Canada.
I’ve been to Mexico.
I’ve been to Niagra Falls.
I’ve been to Japan.
I’ve celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
I’ve been to Europe.
I’ve been to Africa.
I’ve been to Hawaii.
I’ve gotten lost in my city.
I’ve seen a shooting star.
I’ve wished on a shooting star.
I’ve seen a meteor shower.
I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I’ve kicked a guy where it hurts.
I’ve been to a casino.
I’ve been skydiving.
I’ve gone skinny dipping.
I’ve played spin the bottle.
I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
I’ve crashed a car.
I’ve been skiing.
I’ve been in a play.
I’ve met someone in person from Facebook.
I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
I’ve seen the Northern lights.
I’ve sat on a roof top at night.
I’ve played chicken.
I’ve played a prank on someone.
I’ve ridden in a taxi.
I’ve seen Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I’ve eaten sushi.
I’ve been snowboarding.
I’m in a relationship.
I’ve gone on a blind date.
I’ve been the dumped more than the dumper.
I miss someone right now.
I have a fear of abandonment.
I’ve gotten divorced.
I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
I’ve kept something from a past relationship.
I’ve had a crush on someone of the same sex.
I’ve had a crush on a teacher.
I’ve been kissed in the rain.
I’ve hugged a stranger.
I have kissed a stranger.
I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
I’ve snuck out of my house.
I have lied to my parents about where I am.
I am keeping a secret from the world.
I’ve cheated while playing a game.
I’ve cheated on a test.
I’ve run a red light.
I’ve been suspended from school.
I’ve witnessed a crime.
I’ve been in a fist fight.
I’ve been arrested.
I’ve passed out from drinking.
I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
I’ve taken painkillers when I didn’t need them.
I’ve eaten mushrooms.
I’ve inhaled Nitrous.
I’ve done hard drugs.
I have cough drops when I’m not sick.
I have 3 pills at a time no problem.
I have been diagnosed with depression.
I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder.
I’ve taken an anti-depressant.
I have been anorexic or bulimic.
I’ve spent an entire day without needing to go pee.
I’ve hurt myself on purpose.
I’ve woken up crying.
I’m afraid of dying.
I hate funerals.
I’ve seen someone dying.
Someone close to me has committed suicide.
I’ve planned my own suicide.
I’ve attempted suicide.
I’ve written a eulogy for myself.
I own an iPod or an MP3 player.
I have an unhealthy obsession with anime.
I own something from Hot Topic.
I own something from Pac Sun.
I collect comic books.
Can we go back to the days our love was strong?
What happened to us?
Diba kapag mahal mo ang isang tao e hindi mo hahayaang malungkot siya? Hindi mo hahayaang may bumagabag sa kanya diba? Diba dapat iparamdam mo sa kanya na mali yung doubts niya? Hindi niya dapat maramdaman na mawawala ka sa kanya diba? Diba dapat maging masaya siya palagi kasi alam niyang mahal mo siya? Pero anong nangyayari ngayon? Bakit sobrang lungkot ko? Bakit hindi na kita maramdaman?